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When we're not talking about work, my conversations with IMPACT Video TrainerWill Schultztend to fall into one of two buckets —absurdly lengthy marathons of quotingFamily Guyto each other,ordeep, existential, (often) emotionally jarring conversations about life.
Based on the above screenshot, I think you can safely assume our conversation today skewed more toward the latter. Whoops.
What's funny is that, the more I sat with the question, the more surprisingly complex my answer became.
To show you what I mean, I'm curious how many of you will relate with the following statements, whether we're talking about seeking advice from a friend, adigital marketing consultant, a business partner, a spouse, or someone else:
I'm not always looking to have my mind changed.Sometimes I want someone to validate my current way of thinking. If they don't, I may dismiss their advice. I hate to admit this is true, but I do this occasionally.
Occasionally, I will ask for advice but not because I want advice. Why? Well, people will often give more away about what theirtruefeelings are on a given topic when asked for advice, rather than when asked a direct question. You may not like it, but years of interviewing people have proven this true.
I don't always trust the person who is giving the advice.Even if they're a friend or a trusted consultant, I sometimesget a little paranoidand worry they have a hidden agenda. For example,"Are they trying to sell me something?"
Sometimes when I need advice the most is when I won't ask.Maybe I'm not ready to hear the truth, or I don't want to admit to someone that I'm scared... scared of losing something or someone, scared of really failing, etc.
As a result, my answer to Will's question ofwhat needs to be true in order for me to "actually" take advice from someoneis as follows:
Moreover, I need to trust beyond the shadow of a doubt that the person I'm talking to will tell me what Ineedto hear, not what Iwantto hear. Even if it hurts.
I must be open to hearing answers that I don't agree with, unravel any sort of comforting story I've been telling myself, or hurt my feelings.
I must already be willing or prepared to do things I don't want to do — make big changes, try something new, have tough conversations, etc.
If you relate to any of the above, I have a challenge for you.The next time you find yourself asking for advice from someone — a friend, adigital marketing coach, or whomever, it doesn't matter — ask yourself:
"Am I really looking for advice? Am I actually ready to get uncomfortable with what knowing the truth might bring?"
If you seek change ofanykind — personal or professional — know that change will only happen if you're willing to be completely honest with yourself about your answer.
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